Word is out this week that David Cook and American Idol season 2 contestant Kimberly Caldwell are dating. Now, I’ve got to admit Kim’s something of a looker… if you like the high maintenance Pam-Anderson-wannabe look. And there’s a place for that (clearly, Pam sold enough magazines) although my tastes run more towards the Carly look. Or even earth-sister Brooke, if you must go blond.

You may or may not remember Kim: she had a decent enough -though unremarkable - voice, and she stayed on Idol as long as she did largely through sex appeal and because her stage presence was far more polished than those around her, which was due to her lengthy history as a stage kid. But talent finally won out, and we all assumed Kim was off to pursue a career as a member of a Broadway chorus or, perhaps, a ring card girl.

Given their relative positions in the celebrity firmament, it would be natural to assume that Kim pursued David. But no, David asked her out. Now, David’s a smart guy, and in his pre-Idol time as a bartender he no doubt saw any number of drunken Kims being assisted assisted to the porcelain altar by their friends.

So what’s David thinking? Unlike her, he doesn’t need the publicity boost, so that’s out. I claim he’s too savvy to be seriously interested (though his “in the dog house” comment sounds more like they’re in an actual relationship than just going on some simple dates.) But I also think David’s basically too nice a person to be playing her. My guess is that he was in the moment and just thought “hey, might be fun” and things proceeded from there. That would seem to fit the personality he’s projected on the show.

But just in case this ever becomes serious, let me remind David: in my mind, you’re the most promising Idol ever. Play your cards right and you could have a huge, decades long music career. Here are some tidbits from Kim’s own AI page to keep in mind:

Favorite song: “Opportunity”

Other talents: “Hair and make up.”

If you don’t make it on American Idol, what will you do: “I will be famous.”

What are your goals in life: “To be rich and famous, [and to support my mom and sister.]”

Read into that what you will. But I know what it says to me, and it says stay the hell away from my music career.

Before the movie, we were treated to a sneak preview of Mama Mia, starring Meryl Streep. I didn’t quite follow, but I believe the plot involves her having to decide which member of Abba to give to to the Nazis. Turns out there’s not a bad choice. But I digress.

I wrote earlier, based on the trailer, that I was worried that we were heading towards a Phantom Menace style suckfest. My verdict is in: no, it doesn’t suck. Is it great? No. Is it good? Parts.

Going in, my best hope was that it would land somewhere between Raiders (the best of the series by, oh, several miles) and Last Crusade, which was respectable. Temple, of course, is an outright steaming pile, so it would almost take a conscious effort to sink below that.

So, does Indy 4 split the difference between 1 and 3? I’d have to say no; the order of quality is now 1-3-4-2, but 4 does approach three in sections. Not overall, but there some outstanding moments. Is it worth seeing? Yes.

That’s the quick review.

Spoilers Below! Spoilers Below! Spoilers Below!

Spoilers Below! Spoilers Below! Spoilers Below!

Spoilers Below! Spoilers Below! Spoilers Below!

All right, now that we’ve ditched the faint of spirit, lets proceed. The movie opens with an American Graffiti inspired race scene, and if you’ve seen any movies at all you know something bad is about to happen. This time it takes the form of Soviets raiding an American military base. Area 51, to be exact, so we obviously know what they’re after. Turns out the government has stashed the body of an alien there (um, sorry, that’s “weather balloon” if the government is reading) and the Soviets, led by Cate Blanchett, are interested in acquiring it to further their research into parapsychology. Dr. Venkman is apparently unavailable, so they settle for Dr. Jones, who had a hand in excavating the alien crash site ten years or so ago. The ensuing story introduces us to Mutt Williams, who seeks out Indy for help in locating Mutt’s father figure, one Professor Oxley, who is an old college Chum of Indy’s, by way of a letter from Mutt’s mother. Oxley’s particular archaeological fetish, it turns out, involves crystal skulls - much like the one found on the alien body in Area 51.

The Good:

• Harrison Ford still gets the Indy character. Sure, he looks a bit older - “It’s not the years, it’s the mileage” - but not too old, and he slips right back into the right speech patterns, body language, etc., when he’s not being directorally rushed. More on that in a bit, but he’s good for another movie.
• I was worried they would write too much forced comedy into the script - again, see the last/first SW trilogy, or Marcus Brody in Indy 3 - but they dodged it.
• Some of the scenes are worthy of any of the Indy movies. The motorcycle chase comes to mind.
• Karen Allen. After watching Raiders as a kid, I remember sitting around with my friends questioning Indy’s choice in love interest. She’s back, and we were wrong. She works.
• Props for fastforwarding to the 1950s. It just wouldn’t have worked to have stuck with the old time period, and the Soviets are fertile ground for suitable bad guys. However, see below.

The Bad

• The swinging-on-vines scene. Everyone who participated in the conception, writing, filming, editing, camera work, or in any way contributed to that scene making it into the film ought to go out and throw themselves off the Hollywood sign in shame. It came close to ruining the whole movie, it’s that bad. Only slightly less bad is the very next scene involving our heroes driving off a tree branch which snaps back and knocks Nazis off a cliff. Terrible.
• So they didn’t go for forced comedy, but they DID try to make Indy an action hero, running on beams, jumping from obstacle to obstacle, generally doing superhuman things. Indy was always a reluctant hero at best, doing things that just barely worked because he had no other choice. Indy 4 violates that precedent, to bad effect.
• The pacing is just bad. Indy 4 feels like it should have been a much longer movie. The film completely rushes exposition, in a lot of cases violating the fundamental “show, don’t tell” rule.
• It’s a Lucas/Spielberg move with a kid in it. Okay, the kid’s not in elementary school, but outside of E. T., any movie with one of those guys and a kid doesn’t mean anything good. In this case, it’s not too bad - but just barely. (To be fair, LaBeouf is 21, but he plays a kid in the movie.)


• Lots of obvious foreshadowing. Mutt mentions he was good at fencing in boarding school and the main villain carries around a sword. Gee, can’t imagine what’s going to happen there.
• Cate Blanchett is okay, but we never get the sense of really hating the bad guys that the first movie provided. Granted, Raiders set a new standard in movie villains, but still. I never felt like it was important that Indy beat the bad guys to the prize in this one. The Soviet heavies are as faceless as any of the canon fodder in a 1980’s Schwarzenegger flick.
• Hamfisted parallels between the second Red Scare/McCarthy era and the current political environment. We get your point already.
• Way too much narcissism. We get a gratuitous glimpse of the Ark. Okay, we knew it was there. That should have been plenty. The Marcus Brody tribute was nice, but did you have to linger over the picture AND focus on the plaque on the statue AND have the statue affect the outcome of the chase?
• I’m not sure if this was good or bad, but quite a few sections played like Indy’s greatest hits: the first part of the movie recreated the chase with the Ark and the Nazis almost exactly, even down to the part where there’s a big fight and the bad guys get obliterated by an airplane (or rocket) engine. Mutt doesn’t care about the treasure but is out to rescue his father figure, Indy is back in South America, there’s even a part where a guy eats a bug. (“They call him Belosh!”)
• Indy 2, 3, and 4 have never had the serious aspect that Raiders did. That was what gave the movie atmosphere.
• No Sallah. Dude.

The Ugly

• While the CG effects weren’t as bad as the trailer made them out to be, they still were completely distracting at a couple of points.

More thoughts later… it’s 3pm and I’m losing the thread here. All in all, don’t take my criticism to be more than it is. Any Indy is better than no Indy, and this one is actually pretty good in spots. The only complaint is that it could have been great with a little more discipline, and it just doesn’t quite get there - that’s the frustrating thing. The seeds of greatness are there, though. I’ll probably see it again myself.

Anyway. We’ll see how it plays out tonight.

8pm: The show starts with Michael Buffer giving us the fight announcer treatment - did you know that’s he’s actually trademarked the famous “rumble” phrase? Maybe that’s why he sticks with “This is AMERICAN IDOL!” tonight. Carrying on with the boxing motif, David Cook comes out from the red corner complete with boxing robe, and David Archuleta comes from the blue corner. They bounce around confusedly for a bit, and then the festivities roll over to Ryan, who looks like he’s having eyeliner problems tonight.

Ryan tells us that each contestant will be singing three songs, and they go back with the boxing stuff, having Jim Lampley give us a little pre-fight segment for the contestants. Silly, but I love Lamps; he’s always solid. David Archuleta won a coin toss, and made the obvious decision to go second tonight. David Cook says he has “a tall order in front of him trying to keep up with this kid.”

Randy suggests each contestant has to “drop it hard” tonight. Paula tells them to “soak it all up.” Simon says “you’ve got to have a desire to win and you’ve got to hate your opponent,” which is perhaps the best quote in Idol history… very Gore Vidal. Archuleta immediately ignores Simon, saying that David Cook is amazing. Cook responds “great, now anything I say is going to be trite….” and goes on to say that as far as he’s concerned the competition is over and they’re just having fun tonight. Believe that if you want.

The first song for each contestant will be chosen by music industry legend Clive Davis. He explains that he looked for a song that captured the “yearning of a generation” for David Cook, eventually coming up with U2’s I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For.

David Cook starts off; the resident guitar player is nodding with a twinkle in his eye as he starts the intro; I wonder if he’s got a prediction. David has a bit of gravel in his voice that’s not completely un-Bono-like as he makes his way through the crowd to the platform behind the judges. He’s got the right look and the right vibe, and he didn’t do a straight U2 ripoff which was good, but other than the fact that the source material is fantastic I can’t say that he did anything particularly memorable with it. Randy says “I think it was a great way to start off… I don’t know if you did everything you could do with it, but I loved the scoop up with the note at the end.” Randy’s right, the last note was a great choice. Paula thinks David “arrived” tonight. Simon says “you looked very tense and very emotional” at the start of the show, but “taking all of that into account, it was phenomenal.” I’ll give this performance a B-.

David Archuleta sings Elton John’s Don’t Let The Sun Go Down On Me. I don’t like the first few lines, his voice needs to be much more full, but I’m comparing him to the Elton version and maybe that’s not fair. He starts off sitting on the stairs and then slowly descends, using that gold spotlight everyone uses during this song since George Michael did his version. In fact, Archuleta is much more in sync with George’s version than Elton’s. The backup singers are overwhelming at one point, but this is a very solid performance top to bottom. Even being a bigger David Cook fan, I’ll give round one to David Archuleta. Randy thinks it was one of the best performances of the entire season, saying it was “flawless… crazy!” and keeps interjecting “crazy!” throughout Paula’s comment, when she says “the sun is never going to go down on you.” Simon says “I thought last week, you were okay. I thought this week is the best you’ve done so far.” Simon then copies me: “Round one goes to Archuleta.” Letter grade: A-.

The second round starts… American Idol took the top ten songwriter entries, and let each David pick their favorite to sing for the fans tonight. Cook picks a song called Dream Big, and Archuleta chooses In This Moment… from the titles alone, it sounds like they’re each playing right to their stereotypes.

David Cook comes out with a anthemic rocker…. “If you don’t dream big, what’s the use of dreaming” is one lyric. He gives it the big guitar-band treatment. It’s one of those automatic, cash money pop songs… probably not a number one, but it could get some airplay, and is destined to get picked up as the bumper music for some college basketball tournament show or Mentos commercial or something like that. It’s… a decent performance, and that’s about it. It’s Randy says “the song was just okay for me, but you were singing your face off… nice, nice.” Paula says “we sit in awe, mesmerized by you.” Simon says “using the boxing analogy, it was a bit of a lightweight.” Another B- from me.

David Archuleta sings In This Moment after the commercial. What’s to say about it? It’s adult contemporary… the kind of inoffensive, dreamy song that’s tailor-made for an Idol finale. Smart of Archuleta, picking a song that instantly works as a winning Idol clip; you’re already thinking it even if you don’t agree with the result. What can you say about it? It’s a phone-it-in, nothing-risked performance. If Cook had had a blockbuster this would have disappointed… but he didn’t, and this is good enough to overcome his performance. Randy says “once again, I wasn’t crazy about the song… but right now you’re so in the zone you could sing the phone book and it would be good.” Simon says “I love the egotistical lyric… fantastically self-centered. You definitely chose the better song, more in keeping with the night… round two goes to David Archuleta. Simon’s right, it does. I give it a B for the performance, an A+ for the image.

Third Round…

The contestants chose the song for this round.

David Cook chose The World I Know, by Collective Soul. Fantastic song,but is it right for this show? Let’s see what he does with it. He’s back to 1990’s modern rock, and he looks downright nervous as he plays the acoustic guitar… he knows the night is riding on this song. I hate to say it… it’s an excellent performance, exactly the right feel and tone for the vibe, but I don’t think it’s enough to win by itself. He needed a big show-closing moment, and this song didn’t give it to him. David cries at the end, probably the all the emotion of the season crashing down on him. Randy says “very nice job dude.” Paula says “you’re standing in your truth” - whatever the hell that means - “I truly applaud you David Cook.” Simon says “I just want to say publicly you are one of the nicest, most sincere contestants we’ve had…. that was a completely and utterly the wrong song choice for you tonight” and suggests that he should have recapped his Billie Jean performance. David responds that he views the competition as a progression, and why do a song he’s already done before, but he allows that he knows what Simon is talking about. Simon winks at him. I’ll give it a B.

David Archuleta will sing Imagine. Points off for him in my book for redoing a song; David Cook was right about that, IMHO. Still, let’s give it a listen. He goes for big notes early and lands them… good for him; most Idols would have saved it for one big one at the end, good for him for proving he’s got more where that came from. The performance seems a bit choppy due to the time constraints, but there’s nothing wrong with David’s voice. Randy offers “dude, you are so good tonight, you are exactly what the show is about… the best singer of season seven is right there!” Paula says “you’ve left me speechless…” okay, all of a sudden, I’m an Archuleta fan. Simon adds “this show is about finding a star… you came out here tonight to win, and what we have witnessed is a knockout.” I’ll give this another B.

Summary / Conclusion

And there you have it. The judges clearly think Archuleta will take the prize tomorrow night. Will he? I’m not 100% convinced. If you judge by tonight, he probably deserves it. Judging by the whole season? I still say Cook is the better of the two. David Archuleta, should he find the right producer, will have an admirable career, and be trotted out for every national anthem and awards show for the next ten years. David Cook, however, actually has a chance to do something interesting with his career. Maybe Arch will, too, at some point… but right now all I can say is that I’d buy Cook’s album, I’m not sure I’ll buy Archuleta’s.

We’ll see who wins tomorrow night.

I read this week that Idol ratings are down. I wonder why. One key is probably this is the group of contestants I cared about the least of all the seasons I watched. I don’t think this means the show has run its course; I was really excited when it rotated back up in the Fox schedule, and through the first couple of elimination weeks. I really think it’s the contestants… it was the strongest group ever in terms of singing talent, but also one of the most boring. Too much professionalism? Maybe.

This, of course, is Idols-Visit-Home week. I was disappointed last night that we didn’t get to see more video clips of that. Maybe tonight, though… heaven knows they’ll need some kind of filler to stretch this to an hour.

9pm, and here we go. Ryan tells us to get this close and lose will be “simply devastating” … enjoy that waiting backstage, Idols. He also tells us Fantasia will be singing for us tonight… I’ll be interested to see how she is now. I thought she was hanging out doing the Color Purple thing.

The Idols are out with the group number, Ain’t No Stoppin’ Us Now. The group numbers have well and truly sucked this season, and this one is no exception. It’s everything: the singing, the song choices, the collective stage presence… it feels like one of those 1970s performances by troubled kids designed to bring the community together that would send everyone within earshot searching for an aerodynamic rock.

There’s that Ace of Spades cell phone commercial… this screams for a Motorhead night on Idol. That would be worth pay per view, even.

The Ford commercial tonight: Heaven. Unremarkable.

Ryan tells us there were fifty-six million votes last night, and then they give us the video recap of last night. No big surprises. David Cook’s Dare You To Move and Syesha’s Hit Me Up sounded a bit better in retrospect to me than they did first run last night.

Fantasia comes out, channeling a slightly more chunky Grace Jones. The song - Sorry, I missed the title, and there’s no extracting it from the lyrics - is just nasty funky. It overshadows Fantasia herself; there’s nothing about it that makes me think “oh, yeah, that’s Fantasia I’m hearing.” I dunno if it’s a hit for the ages, but it had a lot of good stuff going on with it… I wonder what Prince could have done with it.

After the break, Ryan is starts the results process. David Archuleta is first up, and we get to see his trip back to Murray, Utah, complete with some high school cheerleaders which prompt David to give us an “oh my gosh!” He signs some autographs - it looks like he’s been practicing - and then he gets mobbed at a local mall. At this point, I wish I’d counted his usage of “gosh.” We get see his high school, and a large mustachioed mayor declares it David Archuleta day. The girls cry, he crys… it’s easy to make fun of, but you shouldn’t… I think it’s genuine emotion from him. He seems like such a likable kid. Good for David.

After the trip to Utah, Ryan runs through David’s performances and the judge reactions from last night. He takes time out to question Simon over his use of the word “gooey” to describe one of David’s songs… making himself look like even more of a dick than usual in the process. They show his journey-on-the-show video and cut to the commercial without ever announcing what’s happening to him… demonstrating tonight’s trick for dragging the show out to sixty minutes.

Syesha comes out after the commercial. Through Ryan’s teevee magic, we get to accompany her to Sarasota, Florida. Complete with a jet and Hummer limo. Looks like she draws an older demographic than Archuleta; no surprise there… or maybe those are just the breaks coming from the retirement capital of America. We get to meet Syesha’s family. We didn’t see David’s, but then we all know the Idol show is completely sick of at least one of them. She gets a helicopter ride, too, and she gets a Mayor too - this one is comes up short in the mustache department, but she can do a handstand, so that balances out. She doesn’t get her own day, though. Bummer. Ryan runs back through last night with her, and we get to see her journey video… one thing immediately becomes clear, we haven’t seen a single bad haircut on Syesha this whole season.

Back after the commercial. David Archuleta and Syesha are on the Sofa of Safety; one of them is leaving their last gluteus impression of of the season. David Cook comes out and explains how he never intended to be on the show at all, only coming to the auditions to provide moral support for his little brother. He gets a private jet back to Kansas City, does the weather on the local Fox affiliate. Someone holds up a KC/DC sign at his coming home concert… funny. He takes his old elementary music school teacher some flowers, also nice. He gets a parade, complete with a guy in a Colonel Sanders outfit. David cries, his brother cries, the girl he signs an autograph for cries… no shame in any of that. A step up from the mayor for David, he gets an actual Representative handing him his plaque. He also gets to throw out the first pitch at a Royals game. Of the three homecoming trips, David’s was hands down the coolest. But that’s what you would expect.

The only weird thing was they used Aerosmith’s Dream On as the music for David Cook’s clip… wasn’t that the last song that Michael Johns did before he got kicked off? That’s not an omen you want hanging on your video clip.

Indy 4 commercial… by all that’s holy, please don’t let it suck. I’m afraid, very afraid.

The local news plays a teaser with Blake Lewis saying “I had a beef with the producers because they had me sing a really crappy song.” Okay, the hook worked, I’ll be watching the newscast tonight. Mostly hoping for reinforcement of everything I already think about the musical sensibilities of the Idol producers.

Simon says that if we get the finale he’s hoping for we might have a real “humdinger” next week. Paula’s never heard of the work ‘humdinger” … but then there are probably a lot of words with which Paula is unfamiliar.

Ryan announces the results… he names David Archuleta first. Then David Cook. There are your final two. Syesha leaves us tonight.

Summary / Conclusion

And then there were two. It’s the outcome I predicted last night. I think David Cook belongs in the final… he’s easily been the most interesting performer this year. I also think Syesha belongs there on raw talent… but raw talent often doesn’t win Idol. You have to garner a fan base, really connect with people emotionally… and that’s something Syesha failed to do. Her Broadway feel doesn’t lend itself to having people want to spend their evenings dialing the phone; there’s nothing wrong with it, but she always felt like she was putting on a conscious act rather than really feeling the music, and that leads to people enjoying it in the same fashion without really dedicating themselves to you.

So there you have it. Next week: David v. David. My prediction is that David Cook takes the prize.

We’ll find out next week. See you then!

The big news this week, of course, is David Archuleta’s father Jeff, who has been officially uninvited from hanging out backstage. The official reason is that Jeff insisted that David replace a verse in Stand By Me with a bit from Beautiful Girls, which David dutifully did… and apparently the trick worked, since David’s still around. But the producers complaint is that by including another song, they were forced to pay royalties to two artists rather than one, increasing the costs of the show.

Believe that explanation if you want, but I don’t. Idol is a money machine, and while no business wants to spend a dime more than they have to, the real issue is that Jeff Archuleta made himself unwelcome by constant nitpicking about David’s performances every week. The producers allow exactly one entity to control their show - themselves; just ask any of the previous Idols who forced a smile while recording the dreck on their first album - and they used this event as a convenient excuse to give Jeff the ol’ heave-ho. For his part, Jeff Archuleta is explaining to the media how he’s not an overbearing stage dad at all. You’re also free to believe as much of that side of the story as you want. For my part, I’ll chalk it up to a clash of control freaks (although, at least Jeff can make the case that he’s trying to do his best for his son) and predictably, the freaks with their own TV show carried the day.

The real question here is whether or not Jeff Archuleta’s absence will rattle David, who has shown signs of being in over his head from time to time this season. It’s a terrible moment to yank the rug out from under the kid.

Read along with me here tonight as I liveblog the top three show tonight at 8pm. In the mean time, just to tide you over, here’s a picture of David Archuleta and a puppy.

All right, it’s 8pm. Here we go.Ryan kicks off the show, telling us that the three Idols are “at [our] mercy.” (Bonus MST3K quote from the past: “And what do you want, Crow?” “I wanna decide who lives and who dies!”) Tonight the Idols will be singing one song picked by the judges, one picked by the producers, and one they selected themselves.


First up is a clip with one Mayor Snarr (sp?) announcing that Paula has picked Billy Joel’s And So It Goes for David Archuleta. I like the song a lot, but the lyrics project a bit of wisdom that may be too old for David. He starts out and his voice resonates rather nicely, and I almost think he’ll pull it off. He wisely plays it straight all the way through, never cracking, but then he’s not really trying to stretch himself with this one… he doesn’t do anything particularly interesting with it, but all in all it’s pretty good. Randy says “You’re in it to win it, baby!” Paula calls it “a pure and stunning performance.” Simon says “it was very good… a bit predictable.” The all black, thin tie, squinty eyed look maked him look like the love child Billie Joe Armstrong and Charles Bronson never had.

Syesha is next up… no mayor for her, but she gets a ride in a limo and a text message from Randy telling her she’ll be doing If I Ain’t Got You, by Alicia Keys, who Syesha announces is her favorite artist, and she says that she immediately knows what she wants to do with the song. Syesha looks great as always, but the vocals and music are completely muddled throughout the verses… blame it on the mix? The chorus is okay, but there’s way too much backing vocal support, not allowing Syesha to really show what she’s capable of. This one was competent, but bland. Randy says Syesha is “peaking at the right time.” Paula is “very proud that you’re the last lady standing.” Simon says “you sang that very well… I just wish Randy had chosen something where you weren’t going to sound so much like the original.” Randy points out that Syesha changed quite a few notes… Randy’s right, he did. IMHO, Simon is generally more correct in his opinions than Randy as far as good and bad are concerned, but moments like this show that Randy is much more technically accurate that Simon.

David Cook gets a text message from Simon while he’s making an appearance on a news show, telling David that the song will be Roberta Flack’s The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face. Nothing like a challenge. David abandons the emo-rock thing for once and goes for tenderness and emotion in a way he hasn’t really before… it’s a brilliant move, allowing him to show a bit of range as an artist. He doesn’t stay small all the way through, though, turning it into a big, anthem ending. Easily the best of the night so far… he probably just put himself in the final two with the performance. Randy says “Love the high note at the end… but he wishes Simon would have picked a song that was less predictable” and that he “needed more rock.” Paula gives him a backhanded compliment, calling him her “second favorite person” to sing the song… thanks a pantload, Paula. Simon thinks “this is what makes you brilliant… round one goes to Cook and Cowell.”

David Archuleta comes back after the break with his personal choice, Chris Brown’s With You. Smart choice on David’s part; the radio version is current and has a great sound, and the lyrics matches the positive outlook Archuleta has projected over the course of the show. I rather like Brown’s version of the song, apart from cringing during blithering-idiot terms of endearment (”boo,” “shorty”, etc.) … girls, do the world a favor and if a guy ever addresses you as one of those things, laugh at him until he slinks off and comes up with something better. Technically, David’s performance is unfortunately a miss… the original song has a LOT of studio production in it, giving it a real speaker-filling sound, and David’s live version just can’t help but sound anemic by comparison. Randy says “Seeing you singing “my boo” … I just couldn’t believe it.” David chooses that moment to make himself look even more awkward by playing the race card, saying something like “weird for a white guy.” Paula says “I think you should be singing songs like this… I think you did a great job.” Simon says “I applaud that you didn’t try to do a very treacly ballad,” sending most of America Googling for the dictionary, but “it was like a chihuahua trying to be a tiger… it was all a bit awkward.”

Syesha has picked Fever, by Peggy Lee, because she “likes the vibe of the song… and I wanted to use a chair.” Okay, I think we all see what she’s aiming for… and it won’t do a damn thing to get her past the should-be-on-Broadway-rather-than-the-radio image she has and needs to shed. Even for Broadway, though, she’s grinning far too much to accomplish the sultry image this presentation demands. Syesha, who’s usually right on the money musically, doesn’t quite hit the high notes, putting too much air under them… the ending has nice tone, but isn’t particularly special. This Randy calls it “interesting… you sang it amazingly well.” Paula thought “I’m not sure [that song] shows me who Syesha is as an artist.” Simon thinks “you probably will regret that decision tomorrow… you had a chance to prove you’re a contemporary recording artist, instead you did quite a lame cabaret performance.” Fantastic legs on Syesha, though.

David Cook announces his choice is Switchfoot’s Dare You To Move. From the first note, he’s back into modern rock… which is okay, that’s clearly his forte, but it’s a bit disappointing because we all already know he can do that. It’s a solid performance start to finish, but entirely, completely predictable. I love David, but found this disappointing for him. Randy calls it “not your best tonight… a little pitchy baby.” Paula thinks “you just got to the beginning when it hit the end of the song.” Paula’s right, none of these performances are long enough to adequately judge how these folks can do over the course of a song, but that’s been a the curse of the show for seven seasons. Simon says “it was pretty much as I expected… all three of you had an okay middle round.”

David Archuleta comes up for his final turn… the producers have thrown him a complete softball, Dan Fogleberg’s Longer. The choice is just insanely tailor-made for Archuleta’s vocal style and overall image, and he does just want you expect he would with it. Nothing to report at all. It’s not bad… but so what. Randy says “It was another hot one from you!” Paula calls it “a lovely performance.” Simon says “I’m not going to criticize you, because I think you sang the song very well… however, I thought the song and the lyrics… were gooey. Something you choose for a 90 year old.”


Yikes! We have a Jusin Guarini sighting! I expect Ryan to hand him a mop and a bucket for after the audience leaves.

Syesha’s third song, as chosen by the producers, will be Hit Me Up, by Gia Farell. It’s high energy… generally quite nice, I like seeing Syesha do a dance number like this rather than the stuff she usually does. There are some runs in the middle that are superfluous, adding nothing to the song and yet also failing to allow her to really show off vocally. I’d give it a B minus. Randy says “Yeah, I can see you doing a song like that.” Paula says “you did the song very well… but I don’t know if it’s the kind that defines Syesha as an artist,” to which Syesha agrees. Paula goes on to say that she doesn’t know that the song will be good enough to get her into the finals… Paula taking a note from the Democratic super delegates, announcing her decision on a candidate long after the issue has been decided. Simon says that it was fun and young, but didn’t afford Syesha the opportunity for the big memorable ending she needed for her last performance of the night.

David Cook will close the show with I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing… he should knock this out of the park, although bad on the producers for such a brain-dead choice. The arrangement bizarrely is violin-centric; awful choice. David growls through the verses… that’s okay, he knows the payoff is in the chorus, like with most Diane Warren songs. Oddly enough, though, even the chorus doesn’t work this time (although the audience clearly thinks differently.) Randy says “I love the song… it was okay for me, very predictable.” Paula says “See ya in the finals!” and does kind of the two-snaps-up-in-a-circle thing that they used to do on In Living Color back in the First Paula Era. Simon calls it “one of the greatest songs of all time… David Cook wins the night.”

Summary / Conclusions

If I had to rank all the performances tonight:

1. David Cook: The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face… the only song of the night that was a real standout.
2. David Archuleta: And So It Goes.
3. Syesha: If I Ain’t Got You
4. Syesha: Hit Me Up
5. David Archuleta: Longer
6. David Cook: Don’t Want to Miss A Thing
7. David Cook: Dare You To Move
8. Syesha: Fever
9. David Arculeta: With You

When it comes to votes, I’m predicting David Archuleta and David Cook in the finals, with David Cook coming out as the eventual winner.

We’ll find out tomorrow night. See you then!

The usual disclaimers: liveblogging as it happens, forgive any grammatical/spelling/editorial errors, etc. Please join in and comment along.

8:47: Almost time…. While we’re waiting, Clay Aiken was back in the news this week, telling the AP “”I’m not trying to be Justin Timberlake…. I’m not gonna bring anybody’s sexy back.” Good for you, Clay, seriously. You know who you are, which among other things, just happens to include having a great voice. That’s enough.

9pm: here we go. Ryan tells is it was the most dramatic show yet… I don’t know about that, but it was one of the better ones last night. It shows in the votes, which Ryan tells us stands at nearly 51 million, and the top three had about a million votes separating each of them. Does that mean the forth person was trailing by an embarrassing margin? We’ll never know.

With only four contestants left, they’re going to half to work to stretch this show to an hour. Ryan shows us the patten, giving each judge an extended chance up front to talk about last night, starting off by asking Randy if he was being too mean to Syesha.

The Idols are up with the group number, Reeling In The Years… really. The entire damn Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, and they wheel out freaking Steely Dan for these youngsters to sing? Fascinating. As with all the group songs this year, it falls pretty flat… David Archuleta’s voice is weak throughout, Syesha is unremarkable, Jason Castro looks like he’s sleepwalking, and while they give David Cook some extra stage time to try and salvage it, he fails as well. The step left, step right choreography does little to help. They need to seriously rethink these before next season… there’s no reason they have to consistently suck this badly. They weren’t quite this bad in previous seasons, what changed?

We get a glimpse of Carly in the audience, just to heat things up a bit.

Commercial break, and then we’re back with Ryan plugging the top ten tour, followed by the recap video from last night. In retrospect, it sounds about like I thought last night: Jason completely tanking, Syesha being good but not really connecting with me, David Cook having one brilliant song and one barely competent one, and David Archuleta having the surprise performance of the night with Love Me Tender. The two Davids were easily the best last night.

Ryan kindly reminds us “someone’s dream will be crushed!” Thanks, Ryan. Now that’s good TV!

First up into the crusher is David Archuleta, who’s “feeling nervous,” but thinks he “really connected” with his songs last night. He grudgingly allows that yes, he really wouldn’t mind winning the show after all. It turns out he may just do that, as Ryan sends him to the Couch of Safety. Ryan reminds us the top three will get the traditional trip home next week, and we go into the commercial.

Coming back, we get to see the Idols heading to Las Vegas to see the Cirque du Soleil show featuring the Beatles… they try hard to liken this four to the original Fab Four, but that’s stretching it a bit far. I’ve never seen a Cirque show; from the clips I’ve seen I can’t decide whether I’d love it or hate it. I suppose I should bite the bullet and find out in person.

Back to business. David Cook is next out, to a screaming welcome from the audience. He comes over to Ryan with a casual stroll… good idea; if you’re voted off, you’ve just extended your time and if not, you just look cool. Randy says that to make it to the final, David just needs to “stay original, and rock it out baby!” David says that his “head was just in the wrong place” last night, but it doesn’t matter… he’s safe. Good results so far, the best two from last night are comfy on the sofa.

Ryan brings out Syesha and Jason Castro together, and despite trying to fool us into thinking he’s about to read the results we all know he’s not - Fox has some commercials to sell - and we cut to a break.

Commercial for Adam Sandler’s Zohan move… it looks amusing. Maybe Sandler’s got his game back. I dug the Wedding Singer.

Also the Verizon commercial with the mosquitoes. I hate it every time I see it. The one with the mob dude asking about service down by the docks was better.

Back with the Ford commercial, to Johnny Cash’s Ring of Fire. It features the idols in Matador suits bullfighting a Mustang (a horse.) It’s completely ridiculous, but it goes far enough past reason that it actually becomes charming. One of the better efforts this season.

Now the phone in segment, which needs to be incinerated and have its ashes scattered to the four winds. The first caller asks David Cook for a date, resulting in a very uncomfortable David dismissing her with a “we’ll see.” The second caller asks what the hardest thing the Idols have had to overcome on the show is… Syesha: stage fright. David Archuleta: “I don’t know.” Jason Castro: “Brain dead” … it’s the ganja, Jason. The next caller asks Simon why he hasn’t been knighted on by the queen, a question he admits asking himself on a regular basis. Next: Syesha, how does it feel to be the only girl left? Proud. Next up: what’s the coolest thing you’ve heard from someone whose song you did? David Cook says he heard from Our Lady Peace after his performance, so he has that going for him. The last caller suggests that Simon could be the next James Bond, to which Simon says “I like the questions this week… I’m available.”

Next up, a performance by Maroon 5, with a very funky If I Never See Your Face Again. I dig it. It’ll be a good summer tour, they’re going out with Counting Crows. Why can’t the Idol performances sound this good?

Indiana Jones commercial. I’ll be there at midnight, of course, but I’m skeptical. They lost it when they turned him from an unlikely hero into a cartoon sometime in the second movie… maybe they’ve righted the ship, but they’ll have to prove it to me.

Commercial for Don’t Forget The Lyrics, which is an entertaining show, but what the world needs is more Hit Me Baby One More Time.

Our old friend Bo Bice comes out, with Witness. Yikes! He just whipped out the talkbox… I don’t know that that was completely necessary, but it’s okay in the context of the song. Bo is all 1970s southern/hard rock, with Hammond organs and endings that go on forever, giving you the feeling that you ought to be watching the show through a smoky haze. In other words, terrific when it works, and this did. He’s clearly shaken off the Idol production influences and is back to being himself.

All right, it’s 9:53, let’s get some results out. Ryan recaps their performances. Jason says that he did, in fact, take Simon’s advice and packed his bags, also offering that somebody told him he “shot the Tambourine man.” Funny. If you’re going to go out, go out smiling. Jason blames his “inexperience…. I screwed it up. Man!” Syesha says she’s “living her dream” and says a change will come in that the United States might have either our first female or our first black President.

Ryan stops it there: Syesha is safe. Jason Castro will darken America’s TVs no longer. Jason exits by giving us I Shot The Sheriff again. Weenie, he should have gone for Tambourine Man again just to prove to everyone he could remember the lyrics.

Summary/Thoughts:

Jason Castro leaving was the only real choice here, and America got it right. If the top three plays out strictly according to talent, David Archuleta should leave us next week, Syesha should come in second and David Cook should take the prize.

That doesn’t always happen, though, and David Archuleta clearly has a dedicated fan base. Will it be enough to carry him into the final two? That sort of question is why every week is fun.

Thanks for reading! See you next time.

The end is in sight. We lost Brooke last week, leaving us with Jason Castro, Syesha, David Cook, and David Archuleta. My favorite to win for a number of weeks has been David Cook. Jason is a one-trick pony (the 1970s mellow acoustic thing,) Syesha belongs on Broadway, and David Archuleta is just way past his sell-by date. Maybe one of those three will prove me wrong and have a performance for the ages tonight, but basically right now they’re in a runoff for second place. Not that that’s a bad thing when it comes to Idol; as we all know, the absolute best choice rarely wins, and the also-rans sometimes go on to better careers.

Here we go.

Ryan opens the show, telling us “tonight you must vote.” If you were in North Carolina or Indiana, hopefully you already voted once today. Have you got the Obama-mania yet? Those results should be in before the Idol show has concluded. (Actually, NC is already in… Obama carries that one.)

Tonight is Rock and Roll Hall of Fame night, so surely all of the Idols should be able to find a couple songs with which they are comfortable. Right? Right? Yeah. Even Hall of Famers can write bad songs, and you just know someone is going to bust out with Teenager in Love or something like that.

David Cook will go all New Romantic on us and open the show with Duran Duran’s Hungry Like The Wolf; is he taking a note from Reel Big Fish? And help me out here, did Duran Duran go in the hall of fame and I missed it? Doesn’t matter, they’ll be there at some point. Anyway, this will either be awesome or completely suck. David’s voice is unremarkable on this song, but then how much do want him to do with it? Other than that, he gives it a bit of a hard rock edge the original lacked, and tears his way through it very respectably… unfortunately, there’s no magic here; David doesn’t act like he really feels it, he’s just running down the lyric sheet in his mind. My summation: okay, but nothing special… disappointing for someone of David’s talent. Randy says “that was an okay choice, and a solid performance” but he’s looking for “mad hot vocals” and thinks David’s performance was just okay. Paula said David’s Hungry Like The Wolf “gave her a big appetite.” Simon thought it was all right, but “a bit copycat.” Props to David for always coming up with an interesting choice.

Was it obvious they would go back to the judges-comment-after-every-song routine after the Paula fiasco last week?

Syesha is up next, saying she’s excited about the AI tour because she’ll have a chance to meet all her fans. She’ll be singing Proud Mary. Say this for Syesha, she always swings for the fences… this is an all-time rock classic, and has been done by the most heavyweight acts in rock and roll. She starts it out slow and bluesy, then goes for the fast up tempo ending, retreating from the edge of the stage to dance between the musicians. Unfortunately, that’s where she loses me… if she’d kept the slow vibe all the way through, she would have been onto something, but by going for speed and energy she invites the Tina comparison, and I think she’s found lacking. That being said, though, her voice is as good as its always is, and she looked dynamite. Randy says she’s “in the zone… nice doin’!” Paula says “you look like a star.” Simon “is sorry to put a slight damper on things” but for him “it was a bad shrieky version, a bad impersonation of Tina Turner,” making the comparison I predicted. Syesha says “I had fun,” to which Simon responds “I didn’t.”

Carly’s in the audience! Carly sighting! My night is complete.

Jason Castro goes reggae on us with Bob Marley’s I Shot The Sheriff; about time he got some mileage of the dreads. He’s clearly having fun, but it’s not very good. Actually, the verses aren’t completely awful, but he completely tanks the chorus; in trying to make it his own, he basically butchers it. Randy says “Man. Listen. Dude. For me, that was a really karaoke Bob Marley… it was just okay, there was nothing special about it.” Paula says “I’ve never seen you perform more to the audience than you did…. I wasn’t crazy about the song or performance” but goes on to say he’s “genuine and real.” Simon says “that was utterly atrocious…. that is a song you do not touch…. this was like a first round audition massacre.”

Speaking of Bob Marley, here’s how to have a bit of fun: next time you’re walking through the mall and see a white suburbanite thirteen year old walking out of Hot Topic with a Marley shirt on ask them to name three of his songs.

David Archuleta will sing Ben E. King’s Stand By Me. He’s going for the expressive hand motions (”and the moon” involves him consciously holding his hand up in the sky.) As with Simon’s comments before, there’s exactly one version of this song, and it’s not by David Archuleta. Again the chorus is worse than the verse (though the verse isn’t good) making me wonder if whoever does the arrangements is just having an awful week and the contestants just have to suffer because it. He also tries to show off by adding in some moody runs that just fall flat. Randy says “at least here’s one guy who’s trying to win the whole thing. He brought the hot mad vocals!” Randy’s clearly watching a different show than I am. Paula says “we all forget that you’re way beyond your years.” Simon says “the truth is you could have whistled the song and it would have sounded better than the last song… you were very well placed” and goes on to say that “I thought you lost it at the end…. but in the grand scheme of things it was the best performance so far.”

Halfway through the show. David Cook has the only thing even close to a decent start-to-finish effort. Syesha had half a song, and Jason Castro and David Archuleta just went off the rails.

David Cook is up again, and says the judges’ criticism was “right on” about his first song. His second effort will be The Who’s Baba O’Riley. Now there’s a Hall of Fame song, and David tells us it’s never been done on the show before. He starts out soft and moody, going for the anthem thing… the Who also went for the anthem, but in a completely different than the way David is doing it. They were all in-your-face, he’s all angst; characteristic of their generations? There’s a thesis there somewhere. Anyway, it’s a great choice; you know the song, but you’re so interested in what he’s doing with it you’re actually listening to it like it’s a new song. He goes for a bigger Who-style chorus which, again, isn’t quite as good as the opening bit, but overall it’s quite good. The overall impression is fantastic, another song he could release as a successful record right now. Randy says “that’s more like the David Cook I’ve grown to love.” Paula says “I just want more.” Simon says “Welcome back David Cook.”

Syesha is back, again looking amazing, with Sam Cooke’s A Change Is Gonna Come. Now, Sam could do some singing, so Syesha once again has chosen to measure herself against a real legend. I’m at a bit of a loss here, because my reviews of Syesha are all starting to sound the same: technically very good, feels scripted/Broadwayish. Her “change gone come” line doesn’t sound authentic, but rather sounds like an educated person consciously trying to talk in dialect. Randy says “The first song I loved, this one I didn’t love as much… I thought you were pushing for things that weren’t there. It felt disconnected, trying to be something that it wasn’t.” Paula stands and applauds, saying “you turned this into a superstar performance… welcome to your dream Syesha.” Syesha cries. Simone says “I have to be fair… I’m going to agree with Paula…. I think Randy got that completely and utterly wrong, I thought you sang that really, really well.” Syesha is still crying and explains that before she sang it she did a lot of research and really came to identify with the song. I think that sums up my problem with Syesha; her songs all feel more like “research” and technique than soul and emotion.

Jason Castro will sing Mr. Tambourine Man, written by Bob Dylan and made famous by the Byrds. He finally just comes out and says that folk rock is his thing, which is no surprise to anyone who’s been watching. I’ll be mercifully short on Jason and just say it’s not very good. Randy asks Jason how he thought he did; Jason says “I lost some lines in there.” Randy says “Jason’s not in the zone tonight.” Paula says “it is what it is… obviously it didn’t blow us away, but you blow me away.” Simon simply says “Jason, I’d pack my suitcase.”

David Archuleta will close the show with Love Me Tender, which he says he had to look up because he didn’t know it that well, but thinks it will be exciting to sing a romantic song; I’m trying hard not to snicker. David wisely takes the song in a different direction than did Elvis; while the big E was all hushed resonance, David A. goes for soaring highs and a falsetto ending. I’m not really a David Archuleta fan, but this song worked. Good job proving me wrong, David… you may have just put yourself in the finals. Randy says “Dude, you’ve got it going on.” Paula says “one of my favorite performances from you,” while Simon thought “You didn’t beat the competition tonight, you crushed the competition.”

Summary/Conclusion

The night went just about like I thought, with the exception of David Archuleta’s last song. His Love Me Tender and David Cook’s Baba O’Riley were the two highlights of the night.

If I had to rank the contestants in the overall competition according to how they should finish, I’d say David Cook is out front by a long way, followed by Syesha, David Archuleta, and Jason Castro. That doesn’t mean that’s how I’m predicting it will break, however. For that:

Best of the Night: David Cook and David Archuleta.

Worst of the Night / Bottom Two: Jason Castro, by a large margin and Syesha by just a little.

Voted Off Prediction: My guess is Jason Castro. It’s time. Past time.
We’ll know tomorrow night. See you then!

Rough night last night. Neil’s stuff should have been pretty accessible, but nobody really did a bang-up job of it. We’ll see who suffers the fallout. The big story of the night, of course, was Paula, talking even more out of her head than usual. She should stick to her usual meaningless “you’re a shining light!” type comments. We’ll see if they give her a chance to make up an explanation.

It’s 9pm, and the show is starting. Only five left… how will they stretch this to an hour? Ryan tells us that over 45 million votes came in last night… I don’t track it, but that sounds like some kind of record.

The top five launch into a Neil Diamond medley; Jason leads off, and you would think he was bad, but he’s immediately followed by David Archuleta who really stinks up the joint. But it doesn’t stop there; David Cook tries to attitude his way through rather than sing, Brooke is wishy washy, and Syesha is perhaps worst of all. They sound anemic. Maybe they don’t have time to adequately rehearse these, or maybe this odd blend of Idols just have voices based on sound waves that cancel each other out, but this performance was just a steaming dungheap, plain and simple.

Ooo! We have a Gina Glocksen sighting! Carly, I’m not cheating on you, I promise. (But Gina… call me?)

Yep. Here we go… Ryan apologizes for Paula’s confusion last night, referencing Internet rumors that he doesn’t specify, and says “She’s part of our family, and we love her. And I still think Simon wants to hook up with her.”

Ryan leads off the results by bringing Jason out, who admits he’s “a little” nervous… and sends him over to the Sofa of Safety. There’s no explanation for this one, America; Jason’s way past his expiration date.

David Archuleta is up next… and he’s also safe. Again, no possible explanation other than the cute-kid factor, he’s in over his head.

David Cook comes out after the commercial break… and he’s safe. This one makes since. He ought to be the eventual winner.

Syesha and Brooke are brought out together… Ryan talks to them meaninglessly for a few minutes; there’s still half an hour to kill, so neither of them is going anywhere just yet. But there are your bottom two.

Natasha Bedingfield performs Pocket Full Of Sunshine. Current Idols take note; her sound fills the room like none of yours does. Her voice isn’t quite on tonight, and the chorus is a bit redundant - I’m guessing the remix versions that are undoubtedly playing in clubs right now are where this songs sweet spot is, but I like the performance quite a bit. I’ll make a point to look for the remixes. After the performance, she goes and hangs out with the Idols for a bit, which is a nice touch. Ryan does his best to embarrass David Archuleta by suggesting that he take Natasha to the prom.

They follow Natasha with perhaps the worst network TV idea ever, the Idol viewer call in segment. This week is moderately interesting because one of the callers is the woman who gave Simon his first kiss, when he was 9pm. He looks like he’s still smitten.

Neil Diamond is up after a very brief Ford video segment, singing Amazing Grace (no, not that one, his own version.) The song is okay, but quite honestly didn’t seem like anything special. Neil’s voice, however, sounded quite good.

All right, 9:56, and Fox has sold as many commercials as they can for tonight. The two left: Brooke and Syesha… and Ryan quickly tells us that Brooke is the odd one out. She sobs audibly as the announcement is made, but probably shouldn’t be a surprise… she’s flirted with the bottom three before. Now, I viciously hate the whole mellow 1970’s rock thing, but I’ll miss Brooke. She’ll find a home someplace. She predictably has a bit of trouble getting through the song… and who can blame her?

All right. There you have it. Who’s left?

• Jason - he’s a cute guy, and not untalented, but he’s a one trick pony.
• David Archuleta - seems like a nice kid, but the next American Idol? I don’t see it.
• Syesha - immensely talented, but those talents seem better suited to Broadway than pop magic.
• David Cook - He’s not perfect, but he’s easily the best overall choice. The guy has the talent and savvy to be a hit machine.

See you next week!

Tonight is Neil Diamond night. Tough to comment on Neil without sounding snarky; his hitmaking ability is undeniable, but he’s dreadfully easy to make fun of. Sing it with me: “Sweeeeet Car-Oh-Line, Bah Bah Bah!” Substitute a hearty “THIS SONG SUCKS” for the “Bah bah bah,” as one piano bar I’ve been to does, and you get the idea.

But I kid Neil, I kid. The fact is, that song doesn’t suck, and neither does America, Song Sung Blue, Heartlight, or a lot of the rest of his catalog. Now, stop right there, that doesn’t mean I’m a big fan, but I respect the place the guy has in pop music. I’d take his career if I could. Regardless, his songs should prove bit more palatable for some of the remaining Idols than Andrew Lloyd Weber night last week. I’m thinking Jason Castro has given a silent prayer of thanks… something tells me that Neil’s songs will be right in his power alley.

It’s 8pm, and Ryan’s hair is looking particularly pointy tonight. He cautions us that someone may “lose their cool” because of the pressure… we can only hope. Now that’s good teevee! Simon’s wearing a shirt that makes it look like he’s about to be baptized in a river. Ryan tells us that each Idol will be performing two songs tonight.

Jason Castro is first up, with Forever In Blue Jeans; the video clip shows him forgetting the lyrics in front of Neil in reversal, which must have been pretty damn embarrassing. I was expecting something good, but I’m not hearing it. He mumbles his way through the verses, and never sells out on the chorus - and Neil Diamond is all about selling out on the chorus. Jason’s phoning this one in. Completely, utterly forgettable. No reviews from the judges until after the performer’s second song, so we’ll have to see what they think.

David Cook’s first song will be I’m Alive, which Neil points out is an ambitious choice since not many people know it. David wisely forgoes the emo thing and puts a little grit in his voice, giving the song a sort of 1980s-one-hit-wonder pop rock feel. It’s perfect for the song; it proves David understands Neil better than Jason. This was exactly right; not earth-shattering at all, but a bit of sugary hand-clapping pop.

Brook White is next up, with I’m A Believer, made famous, of course by the Monkees, and more recently brought back to the world by Smashmouth on the Shrek soundtrack. Shrewed choice on a night where most songs, I suspect, are a bit hazy for the younger Idol crowd. Brooke’s version is competent but uninspired; did she miss the lyrics yet again, or just flub the word “take?” All in all, she probably did okay for herself.

David Archuleta’s first song will be Sweet Caroline; Neil refers to him as a “prodigy” but hopes he’ll take Neil’s advice. David starts out too low - his voice has a tendency to bottom out, he should steer around it. He gives the build up (”touching hands…”) a weird, directionless quality that’s just confused, but recovers for the chorus; he wisely just rides the band through the song, ending up with a pretty good version overall.

Syesha will lead off her effort with Hello Again… Neil predicts “she’ll do great.” We’ll see. She sits alone on the edge of the stage, obscured by a bunch of people waving floppy muppet-arms in front of her; mercifully that doesn’t last long. I’m not crazy about the song choice, but it gives her a great opportunity to show off her voice. She’s all control, and runs nicely through most of her range. It’s the best performance of the night so far.

Ryan asks the judges for a quick round 1 summary… their comments:

Randy: Jason was “just okay,’ David Cook was “very strong,” Brooke was “just okay,” David Archuleta was “the bomb,” and Syesha was “strong, but not amazing.”

Paula: liked hearing Jason’s lower register, and then confusedly goes on to critique his second song… which he hasn’t sung yet. Corrected by Randy, she says “I thought you sang twice” and says she accidentally launched into her thoughts about David Cook’s song instead. She ends up by saying “this is hard.”

Simon: Jason was “forgettable,” David Cook “just above average,” Brooke “forgettable,” David Archuleta “amateurish,” and Syesha “old fashioned.”

Jason Castro is up with his second song, September Morn. He sounds like he’s consciously doing a Neil Diamond impersonation… it’s nothing special, but it’s definitely better than his first effort. His singing is much clearer, and he as a much better feel for the presentation of the chorus. He doesn’t do anything special with his voice, but it’s enough for the song… although it cracks a bit at the end. Randy says “it was just okay.” Paula called it “safe.” Jason says “I kinda started choking right before” he came on… whatever. Professional time, Jason. Simon says that we no longer know who Jason is. Ryan gives him a “good luck” … and he’s going to need it.

David Cook loses the momentum he had with the first song, and goes into an overly breathy, angst-ridden version of All I Really Need Is You. He mumbles all the way through the first verse, and then tries to save it with a big, big chorus… and it works, surprisingly. He overcomes what I would call an awful start to end up with a pretty good version. Randy thought “you rocked the house again tonight.” Paula is “so proud of you… I feel like I’m already looking at the American Idol.” Simon thought it was “brilliant.”

Oh, boy, a commercial for Speed Racer. The cartoon sucked twenty years ago and I’m betting the movie will as well. The fact that it’s a cultural meme is beside the point; popular doesn’t mean cool.

Brooke White’s second song is I Am; she again does her solo piano thing. She uses the lyric “Arizona born and raised,” which Neil suggested instead of “New York born and raised.” He was right; Brooke is very-not-New-York. It’s… nice. It seems to end too quickly to make much of an impression, though. Randy says “nice job.” Paula thinks “what you just did… it showed your vulnerability, that works.” Simon “really, really hated the first song” but “this is the Brooke we like…. it wasn’t incredible, but it was a million times better than the first song. Well done.”

David Archuleta sings America; for some reason, I think David has probably gone around humming this song to himself from time to time, so it ought to be a natural for him. He starts off sounding like his voice won’t be strong enough to pull off the bigness of the song, and it does crack at one point. Rather than sticking to the musical portion of the song, he bizarrely chooses to do the “my country tis of the” spoken part in the middle, which sucks all the energy out of the performance. He ends with a solid chorus. It was okay in the end, but… this guy is going to be the American Idol? I just don’t buy it. Randy says “you were in the zone.” Paula calls it “the absolutely perfect song for you to sing.” Simon says “that was a smart choice of song… that was clever.”

Syesha closes the show with Thank The Lord For The Night Time. She gives it a 1960’s girl group feel, which I don’t enjoy at all, but once again she’s technically right on, and looks absolutely fantastic. No complaints other than I don’t like the style. Syesha’s now had the two best performances of the night. Randy says “Yo…. you’re finally realizing who you are.” Paula’s thoughts were completely unintelligible. Simon thought “you demonstrated that you are a very good actress/singer” but thinks she’s in trouble based on how memorable her songs were.

Summary/Conclusion:

Best of the night: Technically, Syesha. Overall impact, David Cook.

Worst of the night: Jason Castro and Brooke White.

Who’s Going: Tough to call. Simon’s right in his comment about Syesha not being particularly memorable, but I’m hoping that the fact she was technically good is enough to overcome that. David Cook is clearly the best one remaining, so not him. David Archuleta is… well, he’s David Archuleta, and he has the added advantage of choosing two blockbuster hits which will stick in everyone’s mind. Brooke is constantly in danger of going, but tonight I’ll play it straight up and pick Jason Castro to be the odd one out, after two weeks of dismal performances.

We’ll find out tomorrow night. See you then!

Interesting results after Idol Gives Back last week, with Michael Johns leaving, which very few people expected. A couple of the remaining Idols, namely Syesha and Kristy Lee Cook, have to feel like the hourglass is running out for them. We’ll see what happens next.

8pm, and the show starts. Extra loud ovation for Ryan tonight… hopefully that bodes well for the energy in the room tonight. Randy has a gleam in his eye as Ryan introduces him… I wonder if that means we’ll see the Evil Randy or the Nice Randy tonight; either way we’re sure to get “Pitchy Randy.”

Ryan just announced it’s Mariah Carey night, and it’s the closest I’ve ever come to having an Elvis Presley .357 moment with my television. I’ve got nothing to lose, it’s not even high def, and everything to gain… specifically an hour free of Mariah. I know she’s a pop goddess and all, but I’m not a fan. I think she’s got a heck of a voice… which she consistently uses to bludgeon songs (and eardrums) into submission with run after pointless run, never giving full expression to her lyric. And worse, I blame her for convincing a generation of singers the impression that’s how you should sing. And all that ghetto-fab Mimi stuff… doesn’t exist in a much better parallel universe.

David Archuleta says it was “scary” to meet Mariah Carey, because he’s “not worthy to be in her presence.” I think it’s time to remind David that Mariah is just a Long Island girl that dreamed of attending beauty school; not exactly rarefied company there. They show a tender clip of Mariah exercising all that beauty training, biting her thumbnail as she gives David the advice not to be afraid because anything he does will be “real and authentic,” which is the important thing to her. It’s downright mean of her to give the kid that advice… as if you can’t really, authentically suck and go down in roaring flames in front of the American public. He sings When You Believe, giving a squinting performance that makes him look a bit like the love child French Stewart and Charles Bronson never had. Mariah told him he should use a bit of falsetto, and he does… which he breaks short because his voice starts to crack; he then drops down into some low tones he lacks the bottom range to pull off. Randy says “you can sing anything… that was the bomb!” Paula thinks “Mariah was beaming… you made her proud.” Simon said it was “very, very good” and manages to pimp himself by saying he was involved with a #1 version of the song in the U. K. Usually at least one of the judges gets it right, but they’re just smoking crack on this one, it wasn’t very good.

Carly Smithson tells us how weird the week has been without “MJ” - meaning Michael Johns, as opposed to that other MJ, who’s made a career out of being weird himself. Mariah’s advice to Carly is to just “do you” … of course begging the response that if she won’t, I certainly will. Carly will sing I Can’t Live (If Living Is Without You.) Carly starts lower than Mariah ever would, but proves she’s got some range of her own, and her voice has a wonderful full quality that really fills a speaker. Now, it’s no secret that I love me some Carly, but this overall the performance is lackluster, and not helped by overly repetitive lyrics. Randy says that, all in all, it was “pretty good.” Paula liked that she “showed vocal restraint… then swelled… then soared.” Simon doesn’t think Carly pulled it off. Randy’s being a bit charitable… it was more “adequate” than “pretty good.” (And I’m a Carly fan.)

Syesha will sing Vanishing, which Syesha says Mariah encouraged her to “make her own.” It’s paradoxically accompanied by a video clip showing Mariah walking Syesha note-by-note through a run she wants Syesha add to the song. Syesha apparently listened, because her performance is all runs; the approach doesn’t result in a very interesting song, but it does reveal that Syesha has extremely good range and control. Randy says Syesha picked the toughest song of the night, and that she did a good job “all things considered.” Paula said “this week, I think you’ve been extremely smart” - apparently she’s previously been a blithering idiot in Paula’s estimation - and her genius tonight was in picking a relatively unknown song. Paula goes on to say the night was “unbelievably magical for you.” Simon says it was technically very good, but that in contrast to Randy and Paula, he thinks it was a bad decision to choose a song that not many people know. Simon’s right… you don’t want to be compared to Mariah, but you need to give people something to grab hold of, and I’m afraid Syesha didn’t. Still, for what she had to work with, I think she did a good job.

Brooke White missed her sister’s wedding to stay on the Idol set. Tough call, but you’ve got to think long term here. Her sister should have put the wedding on hold. Mariah’s advice to Brooke: “be real.” Are you sensing a bit of a theme with the advice yet? Yeah, me, too. Brooke sings Hero, playing the piano by herself much like we’ve seen before… except she’s wearing shoes this time. It’s unremarkable for a bit, but gets more interesting when she gets to show off during the bridge. All in all, though, it’s not a good night for Brooke… the song is bigger than her voice, which is more suited to mellow 1970s rock. In her defense, she tried to turn the song into just such an animal, but it didn’t really work. Randy, like me, noticed the singer-songwriter vibe, but unlike me he hated the bridge, overall thinking Brooke was “pretty good.” Paula channels Mariah and says “every ounce of you is totally authentic to who you are.” Simon said “I don’t think you had much choice other than to do what you did…” but that it was a bit like “ordering a hamburger and only getting the bun…. I don’t think your voice is strong enough” to pull off that song. This may be the first time on the show Randy has used the word “condiments.” Brooke looks hurt, and almost snaps at a fan who yells out her love, choppily offering an “I love you too” back without making us think she really does. This was by far her weakest night to date.

Kristy Lee Cook sings Forever, which I don’t know. Kristy’s version sounds very 1960’s musically, a bit of country mixed with a bit of Unchained Melody. Kristy is solid throughout, which doesn’t surprise me. Singing hasn’t been her problem, it’s just been selection of material. On a night when everyone is constrained to the same set of songs, that ought to be an advantage for her. Randy says “I’ve gotta tell you, I didn’t think that was amazing, there were a couple of pitchy parts… you hit that note at the end.” Paula says “Kristy Lee Cook, oh my God, I’m like blown away” and thinks she’d have a hit in the “country western world.” She feels the need to add that this proves Mariah can still appeal to “young fans,” which is probably going to send Mariah and her label into fits. Simon says “you weren’t jumping for joy when you heard it was Mariah Carey week, were you” … “it just wasn’t great.”

Ramiele makes an appearance. Yay.

David Cook says he’s going to take a step outside the box this week with Always Be My Baby; we’ll see if he’s back on his game, since he completely sucked last week. His voice manages to be gruff without being truly bluesy, and he mumbles his way for a few verses and then hits a chorus that he doesn’t really sell out. He goes for one big note successfully, but it’s an island, unconnected to the rest of the meandering, pointless performance. Randy says “You’re ready to make an album… I’ve never stood up yet this season, that was the most brilliant performance yet <and he stands up, applauding.>” Paula says that she can here David’s version of the song appearing in a movie soundtrack; if you look up “faint praise” in the dictionary you’ll find a compliment very much like that. Simon says it was like “coming out of karaoke hell into a breath of fresh air” David is crying as Ryan does the post-interview; either he was completely rattled by his first bad week last week, or maybe he didn’t think he did well this week either and is overwhelmingly relieved by the judges comments. The sad thing is that I think David could have been onto something here, but the execution was terrible. Maybe he needed more time to work on it.

Jason Castro will close the show with I Don’t Want To Cry. Mariah calls his version “interesting and different,” - possible code for “trainwreck” - and looks forward to seeing if Jason “chose to use any of the little ideas I had.” Jason offers us a contrived, overly-soulful performance that leaves him looking a bit like a constipated John Travolta. He again goes for the acoustic Spanish thing, which is great but which I’m tired of hearing from Jason; he desperately needs a new trick. Still, it’s what he does, so he might as well do it. All that being said, it’s good. Randy says “For me, I didn’t really love it… I felt like I was at a weird beach luau and somebody put on some music in the distance.” Paula says “I’d like to be at that luau, listening all night long.” Simon “is going to have to agree with Paula. It wasn’t the best vocal of the night… [but] it was a cool version.” Simon thinks the guys were better than the girls tonight. Paula makes a point of interjecting “he wants beef!” several times which leaves everyone looking uncomfortable.

And that’s the show. Summary/Results:

Best of the Night: Jason Castro.

Worst of the Night: Brooke White. Who’s in danger? This is the hardest week to predict so far, the night was so weak start to finish any of the Idols could conceivably be on the hot seat. We’re in the business of making predictions, though, so here you go: Bottom three: Brooke, Kristy, Syesha. I’ll go with Kristy to leave, not because she was bad… but ask yourself if you remember her performance.

We’ll see tomorrow night… see you then!